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Leftovers (Part One)

by TEACOZY

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1.
I'm a fan of mixing crops, different liquids on my tabletops, call the cops - I won't stops, I like both these sorts of drops: at the same time, at the same time, at the same time, at the same time, at the same time, at the same time, at the same time, at the same time, at the same time DO THE BEANHOP! DO THE BEANHOP! Another week draws to a close, another friday night arrives, every minute my thirst grows, just one drink will not suffice. I would like a pick me up, but without anxiety and so I do the double-cup, a little low a little high for me I'm a fan of mixing crops, different liquids on my tabletops, call the cops - I won't stops, I like both these sorts of drops: at the same time, at the same time, at the same time, at the same time, at the same time, at the same time, at the same time, at the same time, at the same time DO THE BEANHOP! DO THE BEANHOP! Some of us go back and forth some of us go coffee first, either way is fine of course, it's your choice in quenching thirst. mixing hot and mixing cold, as another night begins, caffeine with my alcohol it is a win and then another win
2.
Novice Bard 03:25
All this shit is overpriced (I'm underwhelmed) I spent the last 16 years as a novice bard and never past beginners realm. I can't seem to beat the boss -Goliath- with my broken sling and i'm not doing anybody any good with anything. A bandage on my broken wing my broken heart can't seem to sing but rather in a monotone I ramble out some phony thing: I'm in the zone! and in this zone I am the king but all alone, a throne is just a chair and a chair is just a wooden thing. I'm useless and fleeting, afraid of confrontation, i'm late for the meeting and slow to realization. All this shit is getting old (or so i'm told) but it is only reaching for the moment like the model of a centerfold but i'm not trying to suggest that such a moments valueless, just wondering if such a thing will lead me to my happiness. and if it won't then why am i so highly strung? I am trying to relax but i've forgotten why it's done, i try to have a little fun - you know it never seems to last - cos i'm so inside my head and my head is so far up my arse. I'm useless and fleeting, afraid of confrontation, i'm late for the meeting and slow to realization. All this shit is intertwined so if i'm stuck the only way I will escape is concentrate and maybe some beginners luck. But I can't seem to stay employed, don't ask for my resume, all it says is I was paranoid but now I am ok and i'd have said it sooner but I wanted to appear as more than some jealous loser on his way to disappear - at times an overzealous boozer - at times i'm overcome with fear - attuned to absolutely nothin' and i'm feeling kinda weary I'm useless and fleeting, afraid of confrontation, i'm late for the meeting.
3.
Get More Fun 03:12
Just passing the time scaling the walls, building a spine to answer the call, or nothin' but noise that's hastily sewn, search and destroy and collect the alone It's something like glue - but a vibration, we're no longer two in a sensation, i like being you when we are as one: I get more fun you get more fun And I know you're right, i'm playing pretend, so shine me a light on how it will end, and all of the words just echo the cave and i'll be a fool tryna think of a way that's something like glue - but a vibration, we're no longer two in a sensation, i like being you when we are as one: I get more fun you get more fun and i'm just a kid who can't figure out how to do what you did without all the doubt... Just passing the time scaling the walls, building a spine to answer the call, or nothin' but noise that's hastily sewn, search and destroy and collect the alone ---learn to let live, give out what you got, cos we are all in this together whether you like it or not--- It's something like glue - but a vibration, we're no longer two in a sensation, i like being you when we are as one: I get more fun you get more fun
4.
Same Shit 01:06
A secret poem (instead of lyrics): Hello there anxiety! you jerk that lives inside of me you whisperer of vicious things the scissors that would clip my wings You highlighter of what I lack who paints my canvases all black you spell of insecurity there dreaming up your purity you make me question every move as though I have something to prove you tangle me in doubt and fear you grab the wheel and start to steer but don't you see? it is too late I lean in and accelerate you say that I am being rash and start to shout "we're gonna crash!" and maybe you were always right this tunnel doesn't end in light but i'm prepared to take that risk and be the naive optimist anxiety, you call me blind you say that I have lost my mind you whisper that i've gone astray but I continue anyway cos I don't tag along with you so find something to hold onto it's you who tags along with me so buckle up anxiety!
5.
They'll teach you that life is a thing to be feared and assure you that failure's uncomfortably near and that joy is a thing that's reserved for the rich and naive. You'll learn that your feelings are not to be shown - like a natural state is confused and alone and that comfort is the highest thing you can hope to achieve. And they keep us in place by making us scared of the sky, but if you wish to fly remember that Just beyond your fear is your freedom. They'll tell you your dreams are a hobby or phase and then weaken your will in innumerable ways - they'll tell you to "Grow up" but really they're saying "Give in". The jaded and bitter they love to be boss, they give you directions even though they're lost but the only authority you'll ever need is within. And they keep us in place by making us scared of the sky, but if you wish to fly remember that Just beyond your fear is your freedom. Just beyond your fear is where you'll find your freedom hiding.
6.
In The Grey 03:28
I sit alone here in my room arranging accidents for fun, he said "it's bliss and certain doom" but what good was all that he done? and waiting 'round for summer sun but all the weather does is sigh and anyway it never comes the expectation won't apply. and i've forgotten what's a lie and i've been smitten by a fraud, i'm not real sue but think that I am hoping someone will applaud and you think it's dumb (i think i'm bored) you're always on the higher ground like some nobleman of yore and i'm the drunkard of the town. and i can hear your vision now but i can't seem to get away - as though is etched into my brow - as though it's baked into my clay - and you might think i've gone astray (and it's a hard thing to debate) but to be clear i'm in the grey, i do not think i'm doing great. and yeah, i might be second rate and then on other days i'm third, but if you're whispering your hate, don't it strike you as absurd? take a scalpel to your word - ponder if your story's true, maybe I was never heard but then again you're silent too. Say "hey, waste-away, why you gotta sit there in the grey?" and i'll say "i'm ok, i never gotta be here long"

about

Hi!

So this one is a bit of a mix bag.

These songs could be considered sort of b-sides to "Come forth from there I went to" - except for "Do the Beanhop" and "Novice Bard" which I wrote after its release. So I guess half of it is B-sides. Either way, all of these songs were sitting anywhere from rough sketch to mostly finished on my computer for various reasons. Even after finishing them "Same shit" stayed a rough sketch, but I like it how it is, I couldn't really build on it anymore than that, so I guess it can just be thought of as an intermission.

These are sort of leftovers (hence "Leftovers") because at first I wasn't sure that they would make the cut - except "Just Beyond Your Fear" which I always wanted to find a place to release, but because it wasn't finished when I was releasing "Come Forth..." it was still a leftover until now. The others are all exploratory in topic and style, at least for me. I needed to sit with them longer and figure out what they were for me, I think i've figured them out now and I am happy with what they have become. I hope you can find something you like in there too.

Thanks for listening, thanks for your time, I hope you enjoy these songs and can connect to them in some way.

For the beanhoppers!
TEACOZY

credits

released September 10, 2020

All songs written, performed and mixed by TEACOZY.
Many thanks to Elise and Cat from our band Casual Death Machine for backing vocals wherever you hear them.
Cover photo was taken by my Mum and the rest of the artwork is by me.

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TEACOZY Amsterdam, Netherlands

TEACOZY is a stumbling buffoon compelled to love and make things.

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@teacozy.songs

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